My New Years Resolution is to have no resolutions.

Every year on January 1st all you hear is "I'm going to lose 20lbs, I'm going to stop smoking, I'm going to go to Church, New Year - New Me" Blah, blahh. blahhh! The way I see it is, if you are serious and committed to making any change in your life no matter how big or small you would just do it then. Why do you have to wait until a new year to make a change? Why do you have to wait until a new year for a fresh start? Why? I just do not get it. I have vowed to make some changes in my life too, and as soon as I did I started them. I didn't feel the need to wait until January 1st, 2012 to do so. Maybe I am just venting but it bugs me. It's always the same ol story, the same ol resolutions. So, this year I have decided that I will have one and only one resolution and that is to not have one at all!

Besides, it's not like they last very long anyways! :-)

My new year was just another ordinary day. I woke up, popped the top on some diet Mt Dew, and started on the mountain of laundry. The most exciting part of my entire day was going to pick up Caleb's new Thomas The Train bed. The look on his face when he saw it was worth every penny spent on it. Then at night we went to my in laws Jamboree for some live music with the kids. It was fun, I got to sit back and relax and let them run wild. But of course Caleb started having a melt down which meant it was time to come home. Well.. I came home with the kids and my husband stayed. We brought in the new year by watching Dinosaur Train on Netflix. How exciting.

All I did today was clean house, tackled another mountain of laundry and painted the boy's bedroom, which took hours to finished since I had to roll and trim by myself. It turned out so cute, I will post pics soon. My little bundle of hyperness joy is going to love it, he is Train crazy!

Well that's about it. I guess when you are a Mom and wife your New Years Eve stories are kind of lame and boring, but I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way!

My Baby Brother Ate My Homework

Chaos has hit an all time high around here. I haven't been able to blog for awhile now and I apologize, I will try to do better. We've had ballgames, Girl Scout meetings, doctors appointments, Christmas shopping and the usual hussle and bussle to deal with over the past few weeks. The baby is 6 months old now and is starting to sit up. He is develpoping a personality of his own. I love watching them grow into their own unique selves.

As many of you know I wrote a blog long ago about Caleb and his behavior. I decided to finally mention it to the doctor at his 3 year check up. But, while we were discussing the baby and his developement, Caleb was bouncing around the room like a pin ball. I didn't even have to bring up his hyperness to the doctor. It didn't go un-noticed. She brought up the issue before I even had to mention it. We discussed how he is on a day to day basis and she suggests I put him in Preschool. ADHD is a possibility as well as an anxiety disorder. I knew this already, I guess mother's just know this sort of stuff about their children. She said getting him into a routine and in a structured environment would be the best thing for him at the point. He isn't quiet old enough to be diagnosed just yet, so we are kind of in the observation stage with him. I know he needs some sort of help, and so do I. Most days he is overwhelming to me with the other kids and a growing baby, but I manage. I just don't feel like I need to put him in preschool right now. He just turned 3. He would have to go to school almost 3 years before Kindergarten. To me it seems unfair. I haven't ruled it out, I am just giving myself more time to dwell on it to make sure I making the best decision for him..... and me.
-Just an example of the Caleb we all know and love. Catie was trying to keep him in line to sit in Santa's lap-



The girls are doing really well in school. I am so proud at how smart and driven they are to learn. Kayley has became a great reader and Catie is still making the honor roll like she has every year since Kindergarten. Catie played basketball and Kayley wanted to cheerlead. They both did so good. I couldn't be more proud of my sweet little girls And yes it is true; Kyle did eat Catie's homework. Just the corner! .



The kids are getting really excited about Christmas, although it's hard for me to get into the spirit considering how unseasonably warm it's been here over the past few weeks. I would like to see some snow on Christmas, but it doesn't look too promising.

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Revolving Door.

One day I need to carry a notebook and a pen with me and keep a tally of how many times I repeatedly do something in a day. Wash the same sippy cup, pick up the same toy, walk to the trashcan, wipe the same butt, say the same thing over and over and over. I believe I could blindfold myself and still be able to run the household just fine considering all I do one day to the next is a repeat of the day before. Except of course on grocery day when I have to drag along 2 to 4 kids with me and manage to get enough contents in my cart to make a complete meal every day for a week. But, every grocery day is the same, too. The same ole routine, the same ole list of the same ole items we need. I am not complaining, by any means. I love my life and I can count on less than one hand the things I would change about it if I had the opportunity.

I hate routines, I used to say "How boring would your life be if you did the same thing every day over" Then I realized, I AM IN A ROUTINE. I wake up at 6:45 every morning, the first thing I do is plug in the flat iron, pee, then wake up the girls. Tie shoe laces, brush hair, flat iron hair, insert bow and drive them to school. Come home, feed Kyle breakfast, dress Caleb and start a load of laundry, Kiss my husband as he leaves for work then start making beds. I won't give you a run through of my entire day but the all start out just the same. The moment I realized I am doing all the things that I despised so much when I would speak of 'growing up' and the things that I'd swear I would never do, is the moment I realized I am getting old and perhaps my life will always be a revolving door. A few things may change a long the way as the kids grow up, I am sure I will have to adjust but no doubt day in and out I will repeat the day before.

Everything I do, I do it for you.

It's amazing how much you do for your kids without even realizing it. I have been into the Halloween candy way more than I should have been but then I realize that the reasoning behind it must be my parental instincts taking over. The more of the candy I consume the less my children do. Which means I am preventing cavities and looking out for their well being. If everyone passed out the icky gummy body parts, sour
eyeballs and generic chocolate pumpkins this would not be an issue. Curse all of you who buy the good stuff to which I have to consume for my children's sake.

It's no secret that I am not a morning person. If it were up to me I would not rise until noon. But, because I have kid's I wake up early to get them primped and groomed and off to school; mostly on time. And I say mostly because until lately we were in a mad dash to get them out the door on time and to school before being counted tardy which involved them running down the hall to get to their classrooms all while shoveling down breakfast on the go.

Every spare penny we have goes to our children. Buying

new shoes, the latest styles in clothing, the newest toy, sending money to school for this or going out and buying that for the classroom... Some may say we spoil them, and it's true! We do. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I will always put my wants aside to give my children all that I can. Even if it means selling clothes out of my own closet just to afford it.

I always protested mini vans. I told my husband even before our first child was born that he would never ever buy me a mini van. I refused to let one sit in our driveway let alone drive the awful thing. But, as our family grew the need for a bigger vehicle did also. And last year I went against everything I worked so hard to despise and bought our first mini van FOR THE KIDS. And now I secretly love it, but shhhh don't tell.

Dressing up as a dude for Halloween and my husband dressing up as a chick is no exception. Our kids beg us every year to dress up with them. So for them, we do. Might as well have a little fun with it, right?

Tug of War Mommy

"Momma, I want some chocolate milk"

"Momma, I need help with homework, I don't understand it"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a bottle.

"Momma, Caleb hit me"

"Momma, I'm thirsty"

"Momma, she won't share the computer."

"Momma, we are hungry and there is nothing here to eat"

"Momma, come wipe me I have diarrhea"

"Momma, will you fix me something to eat, I'm hungry"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a dry diaper

"Momma, Caleb is coloring on the walls"

"Momma, I need a pull up"

"Momma, I want some Kool-aid"

"Momma, book fair is tomorrow at school, can we have money?"

"wah-wah" Translation: Hold me

"Momma, I pooped"

"Momma, where is the charger to my ipod?"

"Momma, Caleb is bothering the computer again"

"Momma, I want to play basketball, the money is due Friday"

"Momma, I can't find my favorite shorts"

"wah-wah" Traslation: I need another bottle.

"Momma, I wanna watch Spongebob, no wait, Toy Story! no wait, Spongebob."

"Momma, Caleb is trying to push the tv off in the floor"

"Momma, can we play the PSP?

"Momma, when you go to Walmart can you buy me the new Barbie fashion hair designer?"

"wah-wah" Translation: I pooped in my diaper and I want it off.

"Momma, Caleb is getting into the medicine cabinet"

"Momma, My belly hurts."

"Momma, Sissy won't let me play with her toy"

"Momma, Caleb is pulling my hair"

"wah-wah" Translation: It's time for some baby food.

"Momma, Can you turn on the Wii for us?

"Momma, we are bored there is nothing to do here"

"Momma, Caleb is trying to poke out Kyle's eye"

"Momma, can I have $5.00?"

"Momma, I want some Kool-aid, no wait, chocolate milk, nah just get me kool aid.

"Momma, can you warm us up some pizza rolls?"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a nap.

"Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Translation: THERE IS ONE OF ME AND THERE IS FOUR OF YOU. YOU HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN, THE BABY COMES FIRST. YOU HAVE A DADDY TOO, GO ASK HIM! AND BEFORE ASKING PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I AM RAISING FOUR KIDS ON ONE INCOME I AM NOT MADE OUT OF MONEY AND SINCE THERE ISN'T A MONEY TREE GROWING IN THE BACKYARD YOU ARE EITHER GOING TO HAVE TO GET A JOB OR LEARN THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING. CALEB IF I HAVE TO GET AFTER YOU ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GETTING A SPANKING AND GOING TO TIME OUT. WE HAVE 3 COMPUTERS, AN XBOX, PLAYSTATION 3, PSP, WII AND EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE HAS THEIR OWN IPOD AND ALL THE TOYS A CHILD COULD POSSIBLY WANT, THERE IS NO REASON TO BE BORED! NOW FIND SOMETHING TO DO BESIDE STAY UNDER MY FEET AND GET ON MY NERVES. YOU COULD ALWAYS GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM. AND BEFORE YOU ASK ME WHERE SOMETHING IS YOU COULD ACTUALLY LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF FIRST. IT'S NOT GOING TO JUMP OUT AT YOU. WE ARE NEVER OUT OF FOOD, FOR THAT WE ARE BLESSED, PLEASE LEARN TO FIX YOUR OWN SNACK. A MICROWAVE AND TOASTER IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. NOW WHERE IS MY TYLENOL AND PROZAC, MOMMY HAS A HEADACHE!

You might be a parent if...

-You have ABC magnets, My Trip to Chuck E Cheese pics, and a school calender on your fridge.

-Your cabinets are full of sippy cups and bottles.................. perhaps even a shot glass (or two)

-Instead of fancy bath salts and bubble baths in your shower caddy you have roll on soap and rubber duckies.

-You have an entire bag of crunched up BBQ potato chips in your mini van that's been there a week.

-You consider going to the grocery WITHOUT snot on your sleeve being 'dressed up'.

-You take Prozac, Valium or Xanax regularly.

-You get concerned if you don't wipe a butt other than your own for several days.

-You have multiple personalities which might include: Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and Easter Bunny.

-You go into a panic when you run out of Mr Clean Magic Erasers and Windex.

-You keep a stash of quarters in your purse specifically for gum ball machine bribery.

-You play a game similar to Clue to investigate the mystery spot in your carpet and how it got there.

- Pizza Rolls and/or Spaghetti O's are considered a meal.

-You can talk to yourself and not think you are going crazy.

-You can name all the cast of iCarly, Dora and Spongebob.

New look - New name

I have decided the time has came to rename my blog into something for fitting. I am definitely a mom over anything else so my blog should reflect on that, since that's what consumes 99.999999% of my life, right? I hope I can start making myself take a time out to share some of our wild adventures with you. It seems like the chaos and increased tremendously lately. You guys might as well get a good laugh at my expensive. So, I promise I will try to get some posts up soon. Until then tell me what you think about my new blog name.... :)

Tough Choices

At this very moment I should be asleep, laying on an operating table while my tubes are being tied and burned. So, why am I at the computer blogging?

Yesterday was my pre-op at the hospital for my tubal ligation surgery that was suppose to be taking place right now! All day I was a nervous wreck, my emotions were all over the place and I cried almost every time I looked at my sweet baby. I thought I was very sure of myself in my decision to become sterile. That was until, it started becoming so real. I kept telling myself, this is what you need to do. But, my heart was telling me otherwise. Not because I see myself having more kids. I just don't feel comfortable still being so young and the option being taken away from me should I change my mind later in life. I made the decision VERY last minute but I prayed about it, cried over it and the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach and deep in heart just wouldn't allow me to go through with it. Being a mother is who I am, raising kids is what I do. At this very moment in my life my hands are full enough and I am done bringing babies into this world. But, my love for kids is there. So, I can't speak for how I feel as my babies start getting older. I may want another. I may not. But, at least I still can if I should choose to.

Every time I look into the eyes of my children I get such a feeling of love and joy. When I look at my sweet Kyle and he smiles at me with all of his gums showing, I will be reminded of my I made the decision I did. I'm sure I will be called crazy and that's just fine with me. I'm sure I have been called worse. But this was my decision to make. My husband didn't want me to go through with it either. If we were to change our minds and decide we are definitely done having kids forever then we will do something about it then. I just couldn't go through with something I was feeling so uncertain about. I am so glad I am sitting at this computer right now instead of on that operating table having my future taken away from me.

I'm not even sure what made me decide I wanted to have my tubes tied in the first place. Maybe it was because at first I was overwhelmed with having 4 kids? Maybe it was the rude comments I received and still get over how many kids I have? Either way, it doesn't matter. I am not having the surgery done at this point in my life and I couldn't be more happier with the decision I made. I have learned a very valuable lesson from all of this. If you have the slightest bit of doubt in anything your have a choice of doing, then don't. There is a reason you are doubting yourself in the first place.

Catching Up

I have totally been a slacker this Summer when it comes to my blogging. I am beginning to think blogging is more of a Winter hobby. But, I have also came to the assumption that when you have four kids just having a hobby is a miracle. Between the diaper changes, the laundry, dishes, baths, play time, cleaning, cooking etc. there isn't much time in a day left to have a hobby.

I've always heard the expression that when your cup is already full it's bound to overflow. I'd say that raising four kids justifies having a full cup. I made the decision to put off starting my classes in the Summer so I could spend more time with my girls while they were out of school and enjoy my newborn. I almost talked myself out of starting classes this Fall as well. I feel selfish for even thinking about doing something for myself. The time spent working on school work is time that's being taken away from my kids. But at the same time, Me wanting to continue my education is FOR my kids. So, I can help give them a better life and show them that having an education in this day and time is important. I can always find a million excuses to keep myself from starting my classes, for putting it off just a little longer until I get to the point that I just forget it all together. It's not a good time, we can't afford it, will I be able to pass classes, I'm scheduled to have surgery at the end of the month etc. But I have also realized that with any amount of children there is always going to be something coming up. And with four kids you better believe that "being a good time" to start anything probably doesn't exist. So, in 2 weeks from now I will be starting my 4 full time classes and doing the best I can juggling school and my duties as a mom and wife. Wish me luck!

I mentioned surgery; yes, I am going through with having my tubes tied. This was also something I have debated with myself and nearly talked myself out of. Not because I want more children, I don't, but because of the complications and the actual surgery. I've never had surgery before and I am the type of person who thinks about every little unrealistic thing that could go wrong. My surgery was scheduled for a sooner date but because of some issues with my health it's been put off till the end of the month. I just want to be healthy and not have to fear everyday of my health taking a turn for the worse. I just pray that everything goes well with my health, with school and with my surgery. I feel like I ask so much of God that it too makes me selfish. Why is it so hard for us Mommy's to EVER think of ourselves without feeling guilty?

Enough of the serious stuff... We took our girls on a cave tour a few weekends ago at Mammoth Cave National Park. I love it there! I remember going on field trips to the cave when I was in Elementary school. The cave was something I was always so fascinated with, and still am! I couldn't wait for my girls to experience a tour. We chose the Mammoth Passage tour for them, it was a shorter tour and kind of an introduction to the cave. They absolutely loved it and I can't wait to take them back on a longer tour. I didn't get very good pictures considering how dimly lit the cave is but here are a few:

Word of the day

The word of the day is broke! Now, I will give you some examples of this word used in sentences with a few variations:

1. Our gas saving car that was used for my husbands work commute is broken. There it sits in the driveway. Did we fix it? Well no, we didn't! We used it as a good excuse for my husband to get to drive his sports car daily and dropped the insurance! Problem solved.
2. My oven which I bake in religiously is also broken. It's a miracle if it stays turned on long enough to cook our food thoroughly before it shuts itself off. It's only 4 years old. Annoying.
3. Our fridge, which is only 5 years old is turned all the way up and our food isn't as cold as it should be. Usually on this temp setting our drinks would be slushy and our veggies extra crisp. I predict it will soon break. To make another prediction; it will break the day after grocery day when it's crammed to the gills. Oh crap. . . . Yesterday was grocery day.
4. Our house phone is also broke. A few days ago we had an impressive lightning storm that I'm thinking is the factor. I'm not sure if it's the phone itself or the lines, either way, still broke. At least my best friends ear is getting a break.
5. We promised our girl's that we would take them school shopping this weekend. Clothes, shoes, backpacks, supplies, hair appointments - the whole 9 yards. I suspect after all these repairs and this shopping trip, we too will also be BROKE.

And, as an added bonus, Japanese beetles have taken up residence on our shade tree in the front yard. If anything else decides to go wrong I'm guessing either myself or my husband will be on the brink of a breakdown.

Sometimes being an adult SUCKS!

Taking a Mommy Timeout

It's been 2 weeks since my last post, which was short and sweet and took me less than 5 minutes to complete. I can't seem to find the time to blog anymore which is upsetting because I love it so much. Blogging is like my therapy, my way to let it all out and feel better. It's my way to relate to other Mom's that lives their lives very similar to mine and helps me to feel normal.

I literally had to bring everything to a screeching halt and throw a fit like an infant to get to sit here and write this post at this very moment. Laundry, dishes, dirty bathrooms, unmopped and toy sterwn floors will still be there waiting for me when I am finished and I can pick up where I left off feeling relieved to 'let it all out'.

Around 20 minutes ago Kyle turned a month old. I, like every other mom, wonders where the time goes so quickly?! I can remember the events of my oldest daughters birth like it was yesterday, and now she is 7 1/2 years old and will be in the 2nd grade in just a few weeks. I am so proud of the young lady she is growing into. Yesterday morning I was getting ready to wash a sink load of dishes when she asked me if she could wash them for me. I let her, and she seemed to enjoy it. I am glad she offers to help me. I appreciate all the extra fingers that are lifted to help me out especially when it's volunteered. Four kids is a lot of work. I hardly ever have time to sit down and just rest. But, that's okay. I enjoy staying busy, it keeps my mind off of negative things which is where it always seems to wander when I have the time to think.

Our Summer hasn't been eventful, far from it. We have stayed home mostly other than taking the kids swimming a few times. I don't mind not being able to take trips. Sure, I'd like to but, we are now a family of 6 with one income. I hate that my husband stays so stressed about money. He makes enough to keep the bills paid, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies and that's enough to be grateful for. One day, I will have a job and can help out around here, money wise. But, for now, I am doing what I feel is best and that's staying at home with our children trying to raise them with good morals. I can't imagine always having to be on the go while my kids are at a daycare. It works for some families, but not for us.

I am having surgery in a few weeks to have my tubes tied. We have mutually decided we are done having kids and feel that a permanent form of birth control is the option that best suits us. I never ever in my wildest dreams imagined myself having four children. But, now that I do, I can't imagine not having four children. I still get plenty of "you have how many kids?" "Bless your heart", "You look like a baby yourself", comments that I try my best to shrug off and not let get to me. The thought of never being able to have more children saddens me but, we just simply can not afford more and now that our numbers are even I would like to keep it that way. One day I hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a Preschool teacher, I imagine that would be hard to if our family continued to grow bigger than it already is. I am blessed beyond words to have the children I do, and thank God every day for them.

I feel like this post is scattered in topics, but it's been so long since I got to blog what I was feeling I am not sure where to end or what to include. So, I will leave you with a few pictures from our Summer and keep my fingers crossed that I can find the time to blog again soon.

2 weeks already?

I am really not liking how fast time has been going by since Kyle was born. As of 1:20pm today, he is 2 weeks old. He went to the doctor this morning for his 2 week well baby checkup and passed inspection. He now weighs 9lbs & 1/2 an ounce. He is the best baby ever. (thank goodness, I was due one, ha) He wakes up about ever 3 1/2 hours during the night and never cries or fusses unless he's hungry. Things with 4 children in the house are still going smoothly. I am definitely loving it while it lasts because I know it won't always be this calm around here.

On that note; can someone please invent some 'make your baby stop growing' potion? Pronto!

mom⁴

Baby #4 arrived safe & sound on Friday, June 20th @ 1:20pm. Weighing 8lbs 4oz & 21 inches long. He has a head full of black hair and looks just exactly like his daddy. We named him Kyle David. His middle name came from his great grandpa, David, that is a very important & special man in our lives.
His sisters meeting him for the first time. They are so excited to have another little brother and always asks to help out with him. Caleb isn't much on the new baby. He talks to him every now and then and gives him a smooch on his fat baby cheek. He isn't as jealous as I thought he would be, so for that I am thankful.
I love this picture of my 5 babies. It was taken the day we brought the baby home from the hospital. I promise my kids do gets regular baths and they do have nice matching clothes to wear, it just so happens in this picture they had neither. :-)

Having 4 kids at home isn't anything like I expected it to be..... so far. It has been less than eventful. I am thankful that Kyle is a good baby. He only cries or whimpers when he is hungry and being a newborn he sleeps a lot. I have been able to stay on top of the housework and give the other kids plenty of attention. I am sure all that will change as Kyle gets older. I was hoping I would have some kind of funny story to blog about by now about being a mom of 4. It's strange the way things have calmed down around our house since the baby came home. Maybe it's because the estrogen vs testosterone levels have evened out. That's my theory, anyways.

It's beginning to look a lot like baby

The countdown is on: 4 days until Baby #4 arrives. I have a love/hate feeling about being induced. I love the fact that I can have everything ready and not be caught off guard by going into labor. I love that I can make arrangements for my other children and not have to panic at last minute. It makes life a lot easier.. well sort of. I hate the anxiety that comes with it all. Knowing exactly how many days you have left is nerve wrecking. You have too much time to think about all the "what if's." I haven't been able to sleep well since I found out my induction date, I have drove myself crazy planning, organizing and trying to have everything just as it should be. But, most of all I have totally stressed myself out trying to keep everyone else satisfied when I really shouldn't waste my time. Having a baby is suppose to be a joyous time in a couple's life. Too many people take things too personal and doesn't respect said couple's wishes when it comes to labor and delivery.

My husband and I were talking a few nights ago while laying in bed about how we wanted the process to go. I told him (like I have with our past 3 children) who I wanted in the delivery room with me, and it's the same 3 people as before. Call me selfish if you must but it's my body and I don't want just anyone with a front row seat. We shared our concerns, well that was mostly me, and he reassured me that I shouldn't stress myself out with the unknown. This pregnancy has been extremely different than the other 3 for me. I have stayed paranoid and in denial nearly the entire 9 months. Thinking something will be wrong with the baby, something will go wrong with me. I have literally made myself nuts with all the possibilities. Even down to making sure my kids and dog are taken care of properly while I'm in the hospital. Mr. Clean has really helped keep me busy and keep my mind off of things. Although, I'm not sure how there is possibly anything left in this house that hasn't been scrubbed, dusted, washed, or organized.

Here is my to-do list for the next 3 days:

-Pack hospital bag for myself. (you would think after having 3 children I would know exactly what I would need to pack, but I draw a blank... so please feel free to make suggestions)

-Pack the kid's bags for the weekend.

-Charge camera batteries.

-Put car seat in van.

-Put batteries in Papisan seat & swing.

-Stock up on groceries and household items.

-Rearrange bedroom so the bassinet can fit beside the bed.

-Find a dim lit lamp to use on nightstand for late night feedings.

-Finalize arrangements for the kid's and my dog baby.

-Finish decorating guest bath that I begged my husband to repaint before we had company over to visit the baby.

-Make a final decision on birth control. (this perhaps could spark a different blog post)

Everything else has already been completed. I have boiled bottles, washed covers on bedding, seats, swing, car seats etc, washed and hang all clothes sized NB-9mths, packed diaper bag, packed away maternity clothes except a few to last me the next few days and hang up most of my normal clothes, with hopes that I can actually fit into them shortly after delivery.

You would think I would be calm and collected given my experience and all my preparations but don't let it fool you. . . . . . . I am totally freaking out as. we. speak.

My Last Week

I went for my weekly OB appointment on Wednesday to find out that I could be induced as early as next week if I chose to be. Kyle isn't due until the middle of the month but he will arrive a week from today, hopefully. I was relieved to find out that I only had a little over a week left to be miserable. But, after leaving the doctor's office the reality struck me. Most of this pregnancy I have been in denial. It wasn't until pulling away from the doctor's office and seeing the induction paper laying in my passenger seat that it hit me, I'm pregnant, next week he will be born. I will have 4 kids that depend on me. Our lives will never be the same. Going from 1 kid to 2 was an easy transition. From 2 kids to 3 was a little more challenging but still doable. I am a little nervous about going from 3 to 4 though. Here are just a few things that have clouded my mind in the past few days.

I only have 1 week left to:

-load the kids in the backseat of our gas saving car. From now on we will have to drive the van everywhere we go.

-I will have to pack an actual diaper bag again instead of just dropping a few necessities in my purse.

-No more sleeping through the night for awhile to come.

-I will have to change tiny diapers, fix bottles of formula that has a horrible stench and lug around a heavy infant carrier.

-But I also realize I will have another little angel to melt my heart, make me smile and make my day just a little brighter every time I look into his tiny helpless eyes.

I am so blessed that I have 3 healthy children. I hope and pray Kyle is just as healthy and everything goes smoothly.

p.s. Someone be on standby with a nerve pill the first day I am home alone with all 4 of them ;)

Love Affair

Yes, it is true. I am completely in love with another man and I refuse to end our love affair. My husband is jealous but at least it isn't a secret and it's something we can deal with. He goes by the name of Mr. Clean. He is fabulous! I was once in a relationship with Mean Green, he took my breath way... a little too much. Mr Clean Meadows & Rain with Febreze is my guilty pleasure now. His aroma is so appealing it lingers around long after we are finished so I am constantly reminded of how perfectly he fits into my life. He is wonderful on carpets & ink pen marks. My porcelain and counter tops have never been so shiny. This man is the real deal, he's got it going on!

Husband, Kids, a dog.. Oh my!

Husband- I can not begin to put into words how blessed I am to be married to my soul mate. I guess some people doesn't believe in soul mates but I do, he was made for me. We balance each other perfectly. He makes up for my flaws and I make up for his. We have our moments but overall we are still as googly-eyed as the day we met. He just recently purchased himself a new toy which he deserves for all he does for the kids and I. He used to have a 'toy' when our youngest was just a baby. I am so happy for him that he is able to have another toy even though we have 3 kids. It's going to be our date car... for those few and far between days we actually get to ourselves.Kids- I am really beginning to think I screwed up when naming our kids. They are all too similar. So when referring to them as a whole I call them my "CK clan". . . individually, they are A,B,C and D.

A) Today is her last day of the 1st grade. I still remember the day we brought her home from the hospital. We were so terrified of her and had absolutely no idea what we were in for. I am still not sure on what we are in for with her. Some days she couldn't be any more perfect and some days I struggle on running far far away because of her attitude, haha. She is such a big help to us with her brother and sister and I can tell that when she gets older, much much much older she will be a great Mom. She also made the Honor roll all 4 quarters of this school year!! I am so proud of my little girl.

B) She graduated Preschool which was such a hard time for me. I never got not one complaint on her all school year long. I am also so proud of her for all she has accomplished this year and how much she has grown and matured. She has such a sweet little voice and the way she pronounces words is just precious. Her 5th birthday is next week and it just seems impossible that she could be that age already.
C) Oh me! Where do I begin? He has been his usual hyper, mischievous self. He keeps me up and at it constantly. I joke about when the baby comes how I will ever be able to stop chasing behind him long enough to tend to a newborn, which makes people laugh. It is a concern though, seriously. I wish I had his energy! He is learning so many new words, even some that he shouldn't and is doing really well speaking in complete sentences. We are still working on the potty training. Some days he's interested, others not so much.
D) My OB appointment last week I found out that I am 50% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. He is due in 3 more weeks. It's hard to believe that I could be in labor at any given time from here on out. This pregnancy has flown by. But, I am so excited to meet my new little feller. Today I washed all his bottle and put them away in the cabinet. I also packed his diaper bag for the hospital. It's all becoming very real to me that soon I will be a Mom of FOUR. Life with 4 kids, ahh, will I ever be able to do it? I guess time will tell.
A dog- I forgot to upload a picture of Boomer. But, he has grown so much. I am still totally in love with him and would feel incomplete without him. There are times that I look across our house and there are toys from one end to the other (literally!!!) and I know the kids didn't do it because they don't stay out from in under my feet long enough to make that mess.. I recently discovered that Boomer was the one who was dragging them out. Oh well, at least someone around here plays with them.

Oh My- As for me, I am just ready to be unpregnant, work on getting my body and my tan back as well as getting started on my school work. My back has felt like a spaghetti noodle lately and my ankles are swollen. I have also been suffering from insomnia. There is always 5124574551566312 things on my mind when I lay down at night I literally wake up in the middle of the night to continue my train of thought. It's nuts, and it could quiet possibly be making me nuts at the same time. This Summer promises to be a busy one. Summer break officially begins today, Will I survive?

A-May-Zing Day

On Sunday we took the girl's out for a day full of fun. They have both done really well in school this year (with a few exceptions toward the end) and we thought they deserved to have a day out with Mom & Dad. With the new baby coming, their busy brother that requires a lot of attention from me and just the busyness we always have going on I feel like they needed this day.

We started off by taking them to play mini golf. Neither of them had ever played before, and they both really enjoyed it. The place we took them to has all sorts of things to do. I remember going there several times as a kid so I knew with all the new things they have added over the years, my girl's would love it.


I wanted to take part in this too, but being 8 months pregnant I'm sure it isn't advised, ha ha! I would like to go back and try it after the baby is born but my poor 4 child bearing bladder probably couldn't handle all the excitement.

The girl's rode the chairlift up the mountain with their dad and absolutely loved it. I've never been a fan of heights and my nerves aren't what they used to be so I just sit this one out.
There is also a nearby Rock Shop, the largest in Kentucky. I have took the girl's here before and they asked to go back. There is a huge concrete dinosaur outside named Big Mo and they always have their picture made with him when we visit. My girl's love collecting rocks so we let them each buy an animal carved out of a mineral. Catie chose a grey cat and Kayley chose a purple frog. I forgot to take a picture, oops.

We also took the girl's to get their ears pierced. We took them once before, last summer, but they both chickened out so, we figured we would wait a little longer and try again. This time they both went through with it and did great. I couldn't believe how brave they were and how well they did. I promised them as soon as their 6 weeks are up and they are all healed we would go earring shopping.

We finished off our day by having a very late lunch at Burger King so they kids could play a little more before going home. It was a perfect day out with our girl's and they got lots of much needed attention. I am going to strive to do stuff like this with them more often.

Off they go.

I am having a really hard time accepting that tomorrow Kayley graduates from Preschool. Of course it's always sad to a mother for her kids to grow up, so fast, but I have been so involved in the Preschool room this year, it's like a double whammy. I plan to visit the classroom next year and continue to help out... how could I not, I have gotten really close with the teachers and consider them good friends. Not only are they good friends but they are my role models as I plan to teach Preschool someday. So much inspiration in my career path has came this school year, from that preschool class and those 2 special teachers. I'm sure these pregnancy hormones aren't helping me any at this very emotional time. I will have plenty of Kleenex handy tomorrow at her graduation ceremony, I'm sure gonna need them.

Better known as Mommy

For 8 years, since the age of 16, I have been a Mom. I have worked a few jobs to help keep the bills paid. For the past 3 years I have stayed home with the kids. Being a Mom is what I do, it's all I do. I have always put my kids first in every situation. Every decision I've made, even if it wasn't the right one, was made for my kids. I've always tried to give them the best life and best living situation that I possibly could. Looking back, I see so many things that I could have handled differently but we have to learn as we go and hope for the best. At times I've struggled on being a Mom and a Wife, and doing both adequately.

Yesterday, my husband and I were talking about everything we had going on this week ahead, like we do every Sunday. I reminded him what days he had to leave work at what time and for what reason. Every single thing involved the kids. School functions mostly. He said to me, what do parent's do that aren't able to take off work and be so involved? I replied, I guess they just aren't as involved as we are. That lead us into the conversation of how being a Mom is all I know how to do. I am known as Catie's Mom, Kayley's Mom, Caleb's Mom or Miss Ashley the Girl Scout Leader (which was also done for my kids). I wouldn't have it any other way, I enjoy the opportunities to be so involved for my kids. So much of my time now is spent at the school, doing things for the school, running errands for the kids, keeping a nice home for our family and so on. I never want to feel like I don't have a purpose.

One day all my kids will be in school, I won't be needed as much as far as staying at home. And the older my kids get the less involved they will want me to be. I want to have something to fall back on. I will always be a mom but someday I won't just be known for being one, as much as I am now. I'm not sure that makes much sense, but it sounds right to me, ha! Someday, my kids won't depend as much on me as they do now. In a few short weeks I will be starting my classes for Early Childhood Education. It will be tough since being a mom consumes my entire life right now, but it won't always be that way. The older they get, the less I will be needed, the less time I will spend doing things for the school, the less my life will be consumed with doing the things that keep me so busy now. And one day, I will be known for more. But, when you break it all down, this next step in my life is also being done for my kids. To give them a better life, a better role model and to show them that if they set their mind to something, they can do it. No matter what it is and how hard it is to accomplish. Anything is possible. Every decision I make, every journey I take and everything I do is done for my kids and always will be until the day I take my last breath. Being a Mom is who I am, it's what I do, it's how I live... no matter how old my kids get.