Catching Up

I have totally been a slacker this Summer when it comes to my blogging. I am beginning to think blogging is more of a Winter hobby. But, I have also came to the assumption that when you have four kids just having a hobby is a miracle. Between the diaper changes, the laundry, dishes, baths, play time, cleaning, cooking etc. there isn't much time in a day left to have a hobby.

I've always heard the expression that when your cup is already full it's bound to overflow. I'd say that raising four kids justifies having a full cup. I made the decision to put off starting my classes in the Summer so I could spend more time with my girls while they were out of school and enjoy my newborn. I almost talked myself out of starting classes this Fall as well. I feel selfish for even thinking about doing something for myself. The time spent working on school work is time that's being taken away from my kids. But at the same time, Me wanting to continue my education is FOR my kids. So, I can help give them a better life and show them that having an education in this day and time is important. I can always find a million excuses to keep myself from starting my classes, for putting it off just a little longer until I get to the point that I just forget it all together. It's not a good time, we can't afford it, will I be able to pass classes, I'm scheduled to have surgery at the end of the month etc. But I have also realized that with any amount of children there is always going to be something coming up. And with four kids you better believe that "being a good time" to start anything probably doesn't exist. So, in 2 weeks from now I will be starting my 4 full time classes and doing the best I can juggling school and my duties as a mom and wife. Wish me luck!

I mentioned surgery; yes, I am going through with having my tubes tied. This was also something I have debated with myself and nearly talked myself out of. Not because I want more children, I don't, but because of the complications and the actual surgery. I've never had surgery before and I am the type of person who thinks about every little unrealistic thing that could go wrong. My surgery was scheduled for a sooner date but because of some issues with my health it's been put off till the end of the month. I just want to be healthy and not have to fear everyday of my health taking a turn for the worse. I just pray that everything goes well with my health, with school and with my surgery. I feel like I ask so much of God that it too makes me selfish. Why is it so hard for us Mommy's to EVER think of ourselves without feeling guilty?

Enough of the serious stuff... We took our girls on a cave tour a few weekends ago at Mammoth Cave National Park. I love it there! I remember going on field trips to the cave when I was in Elementary school. The cave was something I was always so fascinated with, and still am! I couldn't wait for my girls to experience a tour. We chose the Mammoth Passage tour for them, it was a shorter tour and kind of an introduction to the cave. They absolutely loved it and I can't wait to take them back on a longer tour. I didn't get very good pictures considering how dimly lit the cave is but here are a few:

Word of the day

The word of the day is broke! Now, I will give you some examples of this word used in sentences with a few variations:

1. Our gas saving car that was used for my husbands work commute is broken. There it sits in the driveway. Did we fix it? Well no, we didn't! We used it as a good excuse for my husband to get to drive his sports car daily and dropped the insurance! Problem solved.
2. My oven which I bake in religiously is also broken. It's a miracle if it stays turned on long enough to cook our food thoroughly before it shuts itself off. It's only 4 years old. Annoying.
3. Our fridge, which is only 5 years old is turned all the way up and our food isn't as cold as it should be. Usually on this temp setting our drinks would be slushy and our veggies extra crisp. I predict it will soon break. To make another prediction; it will break the day after grocery day when it's crammed to the gills. Oh crap. . . . Yesterday was grocery day.
4. Our house phone is also broke. A few days ago we had an impressive lightning storm that I'm thinking is the factor. I'm not sure if it's the phone itself or the lines, either way, still broke. At least my best friends ear is getting a break.
5. We promised our girl's that we would take them school shopping this weekend. Clothes, shoes, backpacks, supplies, hair appointments - the whole 9 yards. I suspect after all these repairs and this shopping trip, we too will also be BROKE.

And, as an added bonus, Japanese beetles have taken up residence on our shade tree in the front yard. If anything else decides to go wrong I'm guessing either myself or my husband will be on the brink of a breakdown.

Sometimes being an adult SUCKS!

Taking a Mommy Timeout

It's been 2 weeks since my last post, which was short and sweet and took me less than 5 minutes to complete. I can't seem to find the time to blog anymore which is upsetting because I love it so much. Blogging is like my therapy, my way to let it all out and feel better. It's my way to relate to other Mom's that lives their lives very similar to mine and helps me to feel normal.

I literally had to bring everything to a screeching halt and throw a fit like an infant to get to sit here and write this post at this very moment. Laundry, dishes, dirty bathrooms, unmopped and toy sterwn floors will still be there waiting for me when I am finished and I can pick up where I left off feeling relieved to 'let it all out'.

Around 20 minutes ago Kyle turned a month old. I, like every other mom, wonders where the time goes so quickly?! I can remember the events of my oldest daughters birth like it was yesterday, and now she is 7 1/2 years old and will be in the 2nd grade in just a few weeks. I am so proud of the young lady she is growing into. Yesterday morning I was getting ready to wash a sink load of dishes when she asked me if she could wash them for me. I let her, and she seemed to enjoy it. I am glad she offers to help me. I appreciate all the extra fingers that are lifted to help me out especially when it's volunteered. Four kids is a lot of work. I hardly ever have time to sit down and just rest. But, that's okay. I enjoy staying busy, it keeps my mind off of negative things which is where it always seems to wander when I have the time to think.

Our Summer hasn't been eventful, far from it. We have stayed home mostly other than taking the kids swimming a few times. I don't mind not being able to take trips. Sure, I'd like to but, we are now a family of 6 with one income. I hate that my husband stays so stressed about money. He makes enough to keep the bills paid, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies and that's enough to be grateful for. One day, I will have a job and can help out around here, money wise. But, for now, I am doing what I feel is best and that's staying at home with our children trying to raise them with good morals. I can't imagine always having to be on the go while my kids are at a daycare. It works for some families, but not for us.

I am having surgery in a few weeks to have my tubes tied. We have mutually decided we are done having kids and feel that a permanent form of birth control is the option that best suits us. I never ever in my wildest dreams imagined myself having four children. But, now that I do, I can't imagine not having four children. I still get plenty of "you have how many kids?" "Bless your heart", "You look like a baby yourself", comments that I try my best to shrug off and not let get to me. The thought of never being able to have more children saddens me but, we just simply can not afford more and now that our numbers are even I would like to keep it that way. One day I hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a Preschool teacher, I imagine that would be hard to if our family continued to grow bigger than it already is. I am blessed beyond words to have the children I do, and thank God every day for them.

I feel like this post is scattered in topics, but it's been so long since I got to blog what I was feeling I am not sure where to end or what to include. So, I will leave you with a few pictures from our Summer and keep my fingers crossed that I can find the time to blog again soon.

2 weeks already?

I am really not liking how fast time has been going by since Kyle was born. As of 1:20pm today, he is 2 weeks old. He went to the doctor this morning for his 2 week well baby checkup and passed inspection. He now weighs 9lbs & 1/2 an ounce. He is the best baby ever. (thank goodness, I was due one, ha) He wakes up about ever 3 1/2 hours during the night and never cries or fusses unless he's hungry. Things with 4 children in the house are still going smoothly. I am definitely loving it while it lasts because I know it won't always be this calm around here.

On that note; can someone please invent some 'make your baby stop growing' potion? Pronto!

mom⁴

Baby #4 arrived safe & sound on Friday, June 20th @ 1:20pm. Weighing 8lbs 4oz & 21 inches long. He has a head full of black hair and looks just exactly like his daddy. We named him Kyle David. His middle name came from his great grandpa, David, that is a very important & special man in our lives.
His sisters meeting him for the first time. They are so excited to have another little brother and always asks to help out with him. Caleb isn't much on the new baby. He talks to him every now and then and gives him a smooch on his fat baby cheek. He isn't as jealous as I thought he would be, so for that I am thankful.
I love this picture of my 5 babies. It was taken the day we brought the baby home from the hospital. I promise my kids do gets regular baths and they do have nice matching clothes to wear, it just so happens in this picture they had neither. :-)

Having 4 kids at home isn't anything like I expected it to be..... so far. It has been less than eventful. I am thankful that Kyle is a good baby. He only cries or whimpers when he is hungry and being a newborn he sleeps a lot. I have been able to stay on top of the housework and give the other kids plenty of attention. I am sure all that will change as Kyle gets older. I was hoping I would have some kind of funny story to blog about by now about being a mom of 4. It's strange the way things have calmed down around our house since the baby came home. Maybe it's because the estrogen vs testosterone levels have evened out. That's my theory, anyways.

It's beginning to look a lot like baby

The countdown is on: 4 days until Baby #4 arrives. I have a love/hate feeling about being induced. I love the fact that I can have everything ready and not be caught off guard by going into labor. I love that I can make arrangements for my other children and not have to panic at last minute. It makes life a lot easier.. well sort of. I hate the anxiety that comes with it all. Knowing exactly how many days you have left is nerve wrecking. You have too much time to think about all the "what if's." I haven't been able to sleep well since I found out my induction date, I have drove myself crazy planning, organizing and trying to have everything just as it should be. But, most of all I have totally stressed myself out trying to keep everyone else satisfied when I really shouldn't waste my time. Having a baby is suppose to be a joyous time in a couple's life. Too many people take things too personal and doesn't respect said couple's wishes when it comes to labor and delivery.

My husband and I were talking a few nights ago while laying in bed about how we wanted the process to go. I told him (like I have with our past 3 children) who I wanted in the delivery room with me, and it's the same 3 people as before. Call me selfish if you must but it's my body and I don't want just anyone with a front row seat. We shared our concerns, well that was mostly me, and he reassured me that I shouldn't stress myself out with the unknown. This pregnancy has been extremely different than the other 3 for me. I have stayed paranoid and in denial nearly the entire 9 months. Thinking something will be wrong with the baby, something will go wrong with me. I have literally made myself nuts with all the possibilities. Even down to making sure my kids and dog are taken care of properly while I'm in the hospital. Mr. Clean has really helped keep me busy and keep my mind off of things. Although, I'm not sure how there is possibly anything left in this house that hasn't been scrubbed, dusted, washed, or organized.

Here is my to-do list for the next 3 days:

-Pack hospital bag for myself. (you would think after having 3 children I would know exactly what I would need to pack, but I draw a blank... so please feel free to make suggestions)

-Pack the kid's bags for the weekend.

-Charge camera batteries.

-Put car seat in van.

-Put batteries in Papisan seat & swing.

-Stock up on groceries and household items.

-Rearrange bedroom so the bassinet can fit beside the bed.

-Find a dim lit lamp to use on nightstand for late night feedings.

-Finalize arrangements for the kid's and my dog baby.

-Finish decorating guest bath that I begged my husband to repaint before we had company over to visit the baby.

-Make a final decision on birth control. (this perhaps could spark a different blog post)

Everything else has already been completed. I have boiled bottles, washed covers on bedding, seats, swing, car seats etc, washed and hang all clothes sized NB-9mths, packed diaper bag, packed away maternity clothes except a few to last me the next few days and hang up most of my normal clothes, with hopes that I can actually fit into them shortly after delivery.

You would think I would be calm and collected given my experience and all my preparations but don't let it fool you. . . . . . . I am totally freaking out as. we. speak.

My Last Week

I went for my weekly OB appointment on Wednesday to find out that I could be induced as early as next week if I chose to be. Kyle isn't due until the middle of the month but he will arrive a week from today, hopefully. I was relieved to find out that I only had a little over a week left to be miserable. But, after leaving the doctor's office the reality struck me. Most of this pregnancy I have been in denial. It wasn't until pulling away from the doctor's office and seeing the induction paper laying in my passenger seat that it hit me, I'm pregnant, next week he will be born. I will have 4 kids that depend on me. Our lives will never be the same. Going from 1 kid to 2 was an easy transition. From 2 kids to 3 was a little more challenging but still doable. I am a little nervous about going from 3 to 4 though. Here are just a few things that have clouded my mind in the past few days.

I only have 1 week left to:

-load the kids in the backseat of our gas saving car. From now on we will have to drive the van everywhere we go.

-I will have to pack an actual diaper bag again instead of just dropping a few necessities in my purse.

-No more sleeping through the night for awhile to come.

-I will have to change tiny diapers, fix bottles of formula that has a horrible stench and lug around a heavy infant carrier.

-But I also realize I will have another little angel to melt my heart, make me smile and make my day just a little brighter every time I look into his tiny helpless eyes.

I am so blessed that I have 3 healthy children. I hope and pray Kyle is just as healthy and everything goes smoothly.

p.s. Someone be on standby with a nerve pill the first day I am home alone with all 4 of them ;)