Tug of War Mommy

"Momma, I want some chocolate milk"

"Momma, I need help with homework, I don't understand it"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a bottle.

"Momma, Caleb hit me"

"Momma, I'm thirsty"

"Momma, she won't share the computer."

"Momma, we are hungry and there is nothing here to eat"

"Momma, come wipe me I have diarrhea"

"Momma, will you fix me something to eat, I'm hungry"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a dry diaper

"Momma, Caleb is coloring on the walls"

"Momma, I need a pull up"

"Momma, I want some Kool-aid"

"Momma, book fair is tomorrow at school, can we have money?"

"wah-wah" Translation: Hold me

"Momma, I pooped"

"Momma, where is the charger to my ipod?"

"Momma, Caleb is bothering the computer again"

"Momma, I want to play basketball, the money is due Friday"

"Momma, I can't find my favorite shorts"

"wah-wah" Traslation: I need another bottle.

"Momma, I wanna watch Spongebob, no wait, Toy Story! no wait, Spongebob."

"Momma, Caleb is trying to push the tv off in the floor"

"Momma, can we play the PSP?

"Momma, when you go to Walmart can you buy me the new Barbie fashion hair designer?"

"wah-wah" Translation: I pooped in my diaper and I want it off.

"Momma, Caleb is getting into the medicine cabinet"

"Momma, My belly hurts."

"Momma, Sissy won't let me play with her toy"

"Momma, Caleb is pulling my hair"

"wah-wah" Translation: It's time for some baby food.

"Momma, Can you turn on the Wii for us?

"Momma, we are bored there is nothing to do here"

"Momma, Caleb is trying to poke out Kyle's eye"

"Momma, can I have $5.00?"

"Momma, I want some Kool-aid, no wait, chocolate milk, nah just get me kool aid.

"Momma, can you warm us up some pizza rolls?"

"wah-wah" Translation: I need a nap.

"Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Translation: THERE IS ONE OF ME AND THERE IS FOUR OF YOU. YOU HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN, THE BABY COMES FIRST. YOU HAVE A DADDY TOO, GO ASK HIM! AND BEFORE ASKING PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I AM RAISING FOUR KIDS ON ONE INCOME I AM NOT MADE OUT OF MONEY AND SINCE THERE ISN'T A MONEY TREE GROWING IN THE BACKYARD YOU ARE EITHER GOING TO HAVE TO GET A JOB OR LEARN THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING. CALEB IF I HAVE TO GET AFTER YOU ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GETTING A SPANKING AND GOING TO TIME OUT. WE HAVE 3 COMPUTERS, AN XBOX, PLAYSTATION 3, PSP, WII AND EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE HAS THEIR OWN IPOD AND ALL THE TOYS A CHILD COULD POSSIBLY WANT, THERE IS NO REASON TO BE BORED! NOW FIND SOMETHING TO DO BESIDE STAY UNDER MY FEET AND GET ON MY NERVES. YOU COULD ALWAYS GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM. AND BEFORE YOU ASK ME WHERE SOMETHING IS YOU COULD ACTUALLY LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF FIRST. IT'S NOT GOING TO JUMP OUT AT YOU. WE ARE NEVER OUT OF FOOD, FOR THAT WE ARE BLESSED, PLEASE LEARN TO FIX YOUR OWN SNACK. A MICROWAVE AND TOASTER IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. NOW WHERE IS MY TYLENOL AND PROZAC, MOMMY HAS A HEADACHE!

You might be a parent if...

-You have ABC magnets, My Trip to Chuck E Cheese pics, and a school calender on your fridge.

-Your cabinets are full of sippy cups and bottles.................. perhaps even a shot glass (or two)

-Instead of fancy bath salts and bubble baths in your shower caddy you have roll on soap and rubber duckies.

-You have an entire bag of crunched up BBQ potato chips in your mini van that's been there a week.

-You consider going to the grocery WITHOUT snot on your sleeve being 'dressed up'.

-You take Prozac, Valium or Xanax regularly.

-You get concerned if you don't wipe a butt other than your own for several days.

-You have multiple personalities which might include: Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, and Easter Bunny.

-You go into a panic when you run out of Mr Clean Magic Erasers and Windex.

-You keep a stash of quarters in your purse specifically for gum ball machine bribery.

-You play a game similar to Clue to investigate the mystery spot in your carpet and how it got there.

- Pizza Rolls and/or Spaghetti O's are considered a meal.

-You can talk to yourself and not think you are going crazy.

-You can name all the cast of iCarly, Dora and Spongebob.

New look - New name

I have decided the time has came to rename my blog into something for fitting. I am definitely a mom over anything else so my blog should reflect on that, since that's what consumes 99.999999% of my life, right? I hope I can start making myself take a time out to share some of our wild adventures with you. It seems like the chaos and increased tremendously lately. You guys might as well get a good laugh at my expensive. So, I promise I will try to get some posts up soon. Until then tell me what you think about my new blog name.... :)

Tough Choices

At this very moment I should be asleep, laying on an operating table while my tubes are being tied and burned. So, why am I at the computer blogging?

Yesterday was my pre-op at the hospital for my tubal ligation surgery that was suppose to be taking place right now! All day I was a nervous wreck, my emotions were all over the place and I cried almost every time I looked at my sweet baby. I thought I was very sure of myself in my decision to become sterile. That was until, it started becoming so real. I kept telling myself, this is what you need to do. But, my heart was telling me otherwise. Not because I see myself having more kids. I just don't feel comfortable still being so young and the option being taken away from me should I change my mind later in life. I made the decision VERY last minute but I prayed about it, cried over it and the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach and deep in heart just wouldn't allow me to go through with it. Being a mother is who I am, raising kids is what I do. At this very moment in my life my hands are full enough and I am done bringing babies into this world. But, my love for kids is there. So, I can't speak for how I feel as my babies start getting older. I may want another. I may not. But, at least I still can if I should choose to.

Every time I look into the eyes of my children I get such a feeling of love and joy. When I look at my sweet Kyle and he smiles at me with all of his gums showing, I will be reminded of my I made the decision I did. I'm sure I will be called crazy and that's just fine with me. I'm sure I have been called worse. But this was my decision to make. My husband didn't want me to go through with it either. If we were to change our minds and decide we are definitely done having kids forever then we will do something about it then. I just couldn't go through with something I was feeling so uncertain about. I am so glad I am sitting at this computer right now instead of on that operating table having my future taken away from me.

I'm not even sure what made me decide I wanted to have my tubes tied in the first place. Maybe it was because at first I was overwhelmed with having 4 kids? Maybe it was the rude comments I received and still get over how many kids I have? Either way, it doesn't matter. I am not having the surgery done at this point in my life and I couldn't be more happier with the decision I made. I have learned a very valuable lesson from all of this. If you have the slightest bit of doubt in anything your have a choice of doing, then don't. There is a reason you are doubting yourself in the first place.

Catching Up

I have totally been a slacker this Summer when it comes to my blogging. I am beginning to think blogging is more of a Winter hobby. But, I have also came to the assumption that when you have four kids just having a hobby is a miracle. Between the diaper changes, the laundry, dishes, baths, play time, cleaning, cooking etc. there isn't much time in a day left to have a hobby.

I've always heard the expression that when your cup is already full it's bound to overflow. I'd say that raising four kids justifies having a full cup. I made the decision to put off starting my classes in the Summer so I could spend more time with my girls while they were out of school and enjoy my newborn. I almost talked myself out of starting classes this Fall as well. I feel selfish for even thinking about doing something for myself. The time spent working on school work is time that's being taken away from my kids. But at the same time, Me wanting to continue my education is FOR my kids. So, I can help give them a better life and show them that having an education in this day and time is important. I can always find a million excuses to keep myself from starting my classes, for putting it off just a little longer until I get to the point that I just forget it all together. It's not a good time, we can't afford it, will I be able to pass classes, I'm scheduled to have surgery at the end of the month etc. But I have also realized that with any amount of children there is always going to be something coming up. And with four kids you better believe that "being a good time" to start anything probably doesn't exist. So, in 2 weeks from now I will be starting my 4 full time classes and doing the best I can juggling school and my duties as a mom and wife. Wish me luck!

I mentioned surgery; yes, I am going through with having my tubes tied. This was also something I have debated with myself and nearly talked myself out of. Not because I want more children, I don't, but because of the complications and the actual surgery. I've never had surgery before and I am the type of person who thinks about every little unrealistic thing that could go wrong. My surgery was scheduled for a sooner date but because of some issues with my health it's been put off till the end of the month. I just want to be healthy and not have to fear everyday of my health taking a turn for the worse. I just pray that everything goes well with my health, with school and with my surgery. I feel like I ask so much of God that it too makes me selfish. Why is it so hard for us Mommy's to EVER think of ourselves without feeling guilty?

Enough of the serious stuff... We took our girls on a cave tour a few weekends ago at Mammoth Cave National Park. I love it there! I remember going on field trips to the cave when I was in Elementary school. The cave was something I was always so fascinated with, and still am! I couldn't wait for my girls to experience a tour. We chose the Mammoth Passage tour for them, it was a shorter tour and kind of an introduction to the cave. They absolutely loved it and I can't wait to take them back on a longer tour. I didn't get very good pictures considering how dimly lit the cave is but here are a few:

Word of the day

The word of the day is broke! Now, I will give you some examples of this word used in sentences with a few variations:

1. Our gas saving car that was used for my husbands work commute is broken. There it sits in the driveway. Did we fix it? Well no, we didn't! We used it as a good excuse for my husband to get to drive his sports car daily and dropped the insurance! Problem solved.
2. My oven which I bake in religiously is also broken. It's a miracle if it stays turned on long enough to cook our food thoroughly before it shuts itself off. It's only 4 years old. Annoying.
3. Our fridge, which is only 5 years old is turned all the way up and our food isn't as cold as it should be. Usually on this temp setting our drinks would be slushy and our veggies extra crisp. I predict it will soon break. To make another prediction; it will break the day after grocery day when it's crammed to the gills. Oh crap. . . . Yesterday was grocery day.
4. Our house phone is also broke. A few days ago we had an impressive lightning storm that I'm thinking is the factor. I'm not sure if it's the phone itself or the lines, either way, still broke. At least my best friends ear is getting a break.
5. We promised our girl's that we would take them school shopping this weekend. Clothes, shoes, backpacks, supplies, hair appointments - the whole 9 yards. I suspect after all these repairs and this shopping trip, we too will also be BROKE.

And, as an added bonus, Japanese beetles have taken up residence on our shade tree in the front yard. If anything else decides to go wrong I'm guessing either myself or my husband will be on the brink of a breakdown.

Sometimes being an adult SUCKS!

Taking a Mommy Timeout

It's been 2 weeks since my last post, which was short and sweet and took me less than 5 minutes to complete. I can't seem to find the time to blog anymore which is upsetting because I love it so much. Blogging is like my therapy, my way to let it all out and feel better. It's my way to relate to other Mom's that lives their lives very similar to mine and helps me to feel normal.

I literally had to bring everything to a screeching halt and throw a fit like an infant to get to sit here and write this post at this very moment. Laundry, dishes, dirty bathrooms, unmopped and toy sterwn floors will still be there waiting for me when I am finished and I can pick up where I left off feeling relieved to 'let it all out'.

Around 20 minutes ago Kyle turned a month old. I, like every other mom, wonders where the time goes so quickly?! I can remember the events of my oldest daughters birth like it was yesterday, and now she is 7 1/2 years old and will be in the 2nd grade in just a few weeks. I am so proud of the young lady she is growing into. Yesterday morning I was getting ready to wash a sink load of dishes when she asked me if she could wash them for me. I let her, and she seemed to enjoy it. I am glad she offers to help me. I appreciate all the extra fingers that are lifted to help me out especially when it's volunteered. Four kids is a lot of work. I hardly ever have time to sit down and just rest. But, that's okay. I enjoy staying busy, it keeps my mind off of negative things which is where it always seems to wander when I have the time to think.

Our Summer hasn't been eventful, far from it. We have stayed home mostly other than taking the kids swimming a few times. I don't mind not being able to take trips. Sure, I'd like to but, we are now a family of 6 with one income. I hate that my husband stays so stressed about money. He makes enough to keep the bills paid, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies and that's enough to be grateful for. One day, I will have a job and can help out around here, money wise. But, for now, I am doing what I feel is best and that's staying at home with our children trying to raise them with good morals. I can't imagine always having to be on the go while my kids are at a daycare. It works for some families, but not for us.

I am having surgery in a few weeks to have my tubes tied. We have mutually decided we are done having kids and feel that a permanent form of birth control is the option that best suits us. I never ever in my wildest dreams imagined myself having four children. But, now that I do, I can't imagine not having four children. I still get plenty of "you have how many kids?" "Bless your heart", "You look like a baby yourself", comments that I try my best to shrug off and not let get to me. The thought of never being able to have more children saddens me but, we just simply can not afford more and now that our numbers are even I would like to keep it that way. One day I hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a Preschool teacher, I imagine that would be hard to if our family continued to grow bigger than it already is. I am blessed beyond words to have the children I do, and thank God every day for them.

I feel like this post is scattered in topics, but it's been so long since I got to blog what I was feeling I am not sure where to end or what to include. So, I will leave you with a few pictures from our Summer and keep my fingers crossed that I can find the time to blog again soon.