Day 20

Day 20- A picture of a place I'd love to travel.

I am a very sheltered person. I only leave our community for groceries which I have to travel at least 20 miles to the nearest store. I do not dream of going to a different country or to some fancy tourist attraction. I want to keep it realistic with somewhere that may be possible for me to go before I croak. Being that I am a nature lover, I would like to see the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone National Forrest. It's a tough choice to decided between the 2.

Day 19

Day 19- A picture and a letter.

Being the nerd I am I searched back through several weeks of Facebook status' to find this one:

Dear Whomever invented Silly Bandz, I dislike you very much! For 2 reasons; 1) Why didn't I think of getting rich off of rubber bands before you? And 2) Your stupid bracelets & rings are all over my house! Makes a nice snack for my vacuum cleaner though, considering I don't bother picking them up anymore!

life with 4 kids

I am babysitting for my Uncle which is about 2hrs away with his father in law. He was in an accident, and has brain bleeds & swelling. After he was flown to UofL they also discovered a mass in his brain and spots on his lungs. Prayers are definitely needed!

Back to the point of this post; life with 4 kids! I never imagined how it would be when the baby was born and I had 4 kids in my house. Until I started babysitting Payton, which made #4. When I was pregnant with my kids I always imagined them being in the picture and would day dream often. Transitioning from 2-3 kids wasn't such a big deal for us. Probably because we were getting our 1st boy and the excitement of that just covered the chaos of adding another. However, with this being my 4th pregnancy I can't picture how it's going to be after the baby is born. I don't day dream either, possibly because I don't have time to sit down much less get lost in some fantasy world. So I am kind of getting nervous at the reality of having another. Adults vs kids is 2:4. We are outnumbered and possibly in over our heads.

Yesterday when Payton arrived the girls of course were overjoyed because of a baby being here. They played with her and goochy-gooed at her. But Caleb on the other hand did not enjoy her presence. He is Mama's baby and he made sure she wasn't intruding on his territory! This slightly worries me. It may be different since it's his baby brother but just seeing how he reacted to her makes me nervous about how he is going to treat the baby. It's possible that I am worrying myself too much who am I kidding? I am a Mom, that is in my job description to worry unnecessarily.

Someone please assure me that it is different with your own offspring. Having a 7 year old, 4 old, an extremely jealous 2 year old and an 11 month old spoiled brat that wants to be held 24/7 is just a tad bit overwhelming!!!! But I am not complaining (or maybe I am) but I am doing my Good Samaritan duties nonetheless!

Days 16, 17 & 18

Day 16- A picture of someone who inspires me.

That would be my Sister-in-law & my nephew, Christian!! At birth we were told my nephew would never make it.. he is now 3 years old and an amazing little boy. He would not be where he is today without his mother and the determination, patience and strength she has shown. I hope that if I am ever faced with a situation like theirs I can be just as strong for my children.

Day 17- Something that has made a huge impact on my life recently.

It started with Girl Scouts, but spending that time in the pre-school room is what made my mind up about going to school for ECE. I am so excited to start classes this Summer!

Day 18- A picture of my biggest insecurity.

My past! I feel like I have moved on from certain events of my life, and I want to leave it behind me. Now if everyone else could see beyond my past and look at the person I am today....

follow-up from yesterday

I am just beside myself with the events of yesterday. I can't help but feel like I am not doing my job as a Mother. No matter how hard we try to teach our children between good & bad there is always something that is going to slip through the cracks. I keep telling myself it's nothing wrong or right I have done that made my child steal & lie and it's just a lesson she is going to have to learn the hard way. But as a Mother I only want what is best for my children and I want them to grow into respectable people. Not criminals.

Yesterday when my Husband got home from work we sat Catie down at the dining room table and questioned her about why she got into trouble at school. At first she said "I don't know." But when i told her I got a phone call and I knew why she had gotten into trouble she sunk down into her chair. I got out her backpack and went through it I found several small toys and an ink pen. I tried really hard not to make her feel like she was being interrogated but I had to find out where she had gotten this stuff. After several minutes of questions and a few fibs later she admitted she had taken the ink pen off her teachers desk. We once again explained the difference in good & bad behavior and told her she were to return the ink pen to her teacher the next day and apologize. I also told her that everyday when she got off the school bus I was going to check her backpack until I feel she can be trusted again. I think we got our point across that we were giving her a fair warning this time but if there is a next time she won't get off so easy. I was careful not to make her feel like she was a bad person, because she isn't. She just isn't making very good choices. I'm sure we could have handled it differently, but I did all I knew to do.

I have racked my brain at the possible reasons for her to behave this way. Not only are we dealing with the lies and now stealing but she has an attitude that would just make you want to pull your hair out. Rolling eyes, bobbing head, stomping off, slamming doors, throwing things, you get the picture. I keep telling myself that it's a phase she is going through and it will pass but I'm not so sure. I just wish I knew how to properly punish her over her behavior and give her the correct consequences for her actions. I just can't understand how a child that has everything imaginable thinks it's not enough and want more, then turns to stealing it to get it. Then again I wonder if it's because she has so much stuff that it puts it in her mind she gets what she wants, or she can have anything. I also realize I make way too many 'mommy threats' and hardly ever follow through with any of them. Like telling her if she doesn't behave she won't get to stay with her Nanny on the weekend, like she is used to. But no matter how badly she behaves through the week she gets to go anyways.. I feel bad because I know we should have kept her home but I am a tired mother that needs a break so I give in and send her. I now see that this only teaches her that she won't lose any privileges no matter how she acts. I know I have things I need to change in my parenting to make my kids learn important life lessons. No matter how good of a parent you think you are, there is something you will fail at and need to improve. Parenting is a learn as you go adventure not always good but not always bad either. None of us as parents are perfect but we do the best we can. I am praying for guidance to handle this situation with my daughter properly. Thanks for all the kind words and prayers.

Help me out Mommy's!!!

How ironic that my last post (that I wrote just this morning) was offering advice and now I am on here blogging asking for advice! There has been an issue going on for awhile with my 7 year old daughter about her lying. I was also very suspicious that she was taking things. She would come home from school almost every day with a toy, book, etc that she said someone gave her. I told her after several days of this that she did not need to bring anything else home, she has enough stuff as it is. But, she continued to bring things home, not only from school but from places she visited. (Not talking about stores but family members homes). She had an excuse every time for each thing she would have.. "I got it out of the treat box at school", "Me and my friend traded" etc. I knew something was going on because why were there so many of her friends that would be generous enough to give her all of these things. So I sit her down, told her stealing is wrong and she needed to return these things the next day. Days pass and I would go to clean her room and find said property hidden in her room, not returned like I had asked. I have tried everything I know to explain to her that stealing & lying are wrong. An example: One day I caught her with a bottle of lotion she had taken out of my bathroom, when I made her return it, it upset her, and she said "but you never use it, why can't I have it?" I explained to her that me not using wasn't the point, she should not take stuff without asking regardless. I would have given her the bottle of lotion had she asked but the point of her just taking it upset me.

I got a phone call today from the guidance counselor at school telling me they are having a problem with her. Her teacher is on maternity leave right now so she has a fill in teacher. Apparently she has been leaving the classroom without asking permission or saying she needs to use the rest room and she has been wandering the hallways instead. Every time she is approached by a teacher she lies and says she had permission. Then today in the computer lab the teacher saw her take a peace sign stamper that she did not have permission to take. When the teacher asked her about it, she lied again. So, the teacher asked her to take it out of her pocket and Catie acted like it wasn't a big deal because she had been caught. I try to teach my kids difference between what is right and wrong, but apparently it's not getting through to them. Please give me suggestions and advice. Also, how in the world do I punish her for this? I am desperate! I do not want my child labeled as a liar nor a thief. I am strongly against both and do not want my child to think it is okay!

Advice for this week

This past week, for me, has been full of signs that I can not explain. I am still processing a lot of them so describing them to anyone would be impossible. I mentioned before about feeling in my heart that God was trying to tell me something and show me a direction I should follow. I have never listened any time I have ever had a nagging feeling such as the one I have had lately. After stopping my hardheadedness and giving in to the feeling, I had one of the best weeks of my life unfold. It's like everything I prayed about, dreamed about and longed for were handed to me within the same week. I asked God for signs, and I received plenty of them in many areas of my life. I had no stress, no struggles, no tension between certain people that were there before. I was accepted into college, got a hands on experience in the preschool room, a job offer and a good doctor's visit. Not to mention this overwhelming feeling of happiness I have had. I mentioned to my Husband I was afraid that something bad was about to happen because of all the good that had flooded in recently. He said to me, it will be okay, what's meant to be- will be!

The most profound event of this past week happened on Friday. While dropping my little girl off at preschool, the teachers aide handed me a book that we had talked about earlier that week. She offered to let me borrow it, so I did. It isn't normally the type of book I would pick out, I tend to go for the sappy fiction love stories, but I once again had a feeling that I was meant to get something out of the message inside this book. I am a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason.' This past week has proved that to be true time and time again. God works in mysterious ways and by this book being handed to me, I have no doubt that was another blessing I was meant to receive.
I read it cover to cover in 2 days! I have never had a book to give me chills like this one did. I recommend it to everyone, you need to read this book!! It opened my eyes to a lot of things I was blind to before. And it very well could be the missing piece to my puzzle. I have been wanting to find my family and I a Church to attend regularly and after this book I am on a mission to do so, soon!

My lesson learned and advice for this week is: When you feel skeptical about following a path that's being laid out in front of you; follow anyways! Listen to those signs and feelings because they are sent to you for a reason. It could lead to a life altering adventure and put you right where you need to be in your life.. it did for me!

"Never miss out on a blessing just because it isn't packaged the way you expect"