It's beginning to look a lot like baby

The countdown is on: 4 days until Baby #4 arrives. I have a love/hate feeling about being induced. I love the fact that I can have everything ready and not be caught off guard by going into labor. I love that I can make arrangements for my other children and not have to panic at last minute. It makes life a lot easier.. well sort of. I hate the anxiety that comes with it all. Knowing exactly how many days you have left is nerve wrecking. You have too much time to think about all the "what if's." I haven't been able to sleep well since I found out my induction date, I have drove myself crazy planning, organizing and trying to have everything just as it should be. But, most of all I have totally stressed myself out trying to keep everyone else satisfied when I really shouldn't waste my time. Having a baby is suppose to be a joyous time in a couple's life. Too many people take things too personal and doesn't respect said couple's wishes when it comes to labor and delivery.

My husband and I were talking a few nights ago while laying in bed about how we wanted the process to go. I told him (like I have with our past 3 children) who I wanted in the delivery room with me, and it's the same 3 people as before. Call me selfish if you must but it's my body and I don't want just anyone with a front row seat. We shared our concerns, well that was mostly me, and he reassured me that I shouldn't stress myself out with the unknown. This pregnancy has been extremely different than the other 3 for me. I have stayed paranoid and in denial nearly the entire 9 months. Thinking something will be wrong with the baby, something will go wrong with me. I have literally made myself nuts with all the possibilities. Even down to making sure my kids and dog are taken care of properly while I'm in the hospital. Mr. Clean has really helped keep me busy and keep my mind off of things. Although, I'm not sure how there is possibly anything left in this house that hasn't been scrubbed, dusted, washed, or organized.

Here is my to-do list for the next 3 days:

-Pack hospital bag for myself. (you would think after having 3 children I would know exactly what I would need to pack, but I draw a blank... so please feel free to make suggestions)

-Pack the kid's bags for the weekend.

-Charge camera batteries.

-Put car seat in van.

-Put batteries in Papisan seat & swing.

-Stock up on groceries and household items.

-Rearrange bedroom so the bassinet can fit beside the bed.

-Find a dim lit lamp to use on nightstand for late night feedings.

-Finalize arrangements for the kid's and my dog baby.

-Finish decorating guest bath that I begged my husband to repaint before we had company over to visit the baby.

-Make a final decision on birth control. (this perhaps could spark a different blog post)

Everything else has already been completed. I have boiled bottles, washed covers on bedding, seats, swing, car seats etc, washed and hang all clothes sized NB-9mths, packed diaper bag, packed away maternity clothes except a few to last me the next few days and hang up most of my normal clothes, with hopes that I can actually fit into them shortly after delivery.

You would think I would be calm and collected given my experience and all my preparations but don't let it fool you. . . . . . . I am totally freaking out as. we. speak.