First Christmas in Heaven

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless
Christmas trees
around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
was always most important
the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
my Father said to do.
I can't count the blessing or love
has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
Wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

I was browsing through blogs written by others when I came across this poem. It was written by a 14 year old boy who was dying of cancer. Before he died he handed the poem to his mother. Reading it reminded me of my Grandpa who passed away September 23rd of this year. This will be the first Christmas without him.

I feel like I never got to fully "grieve" after losing my grandpa. I know the death of a loved one isn't something you can get over in just a short amount of time, or do you ever fully get over it in the first place? Considering all that happened after his death, one nightmare to the next, my grieving time was cut short. Exactly one week after my grandpa died, my dad was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. The doctors said he was a ticking time bomb & could die at any given moment. He has an unknown heart condition. He stayed in ICU in a hospital 2hrs from my home for 7 days. He went through a series of tests, stents, biopsies, and was sent home with a Life Vest. After all that, not one doctor could tell him what was wrong, and what was causing his heart to be in the shape it's in. It's only functioning at 15%.

I must say, that in the span of those 2 weeks I faced more heartache than I ever have in my life. Losing my grandpa that I was so close to & thinking at any second I could lose my dad. The last 2 years of my Grandpa's life he was bed ridden and partially disabled. It was so heartbreaking seeing him go from a hard working family man to this body that was only "my grandpa" on his very best days. I had to see him suffer, and watch my grandma give every ounce of herself to the care of him. It was so hard. I have no doubt that he is in Heaven & someday I will be with him again. His suffering is over & he is much better off than anyone left on this earth is.