Why I love my dog...

• He loves me no matter what even if I did just rub his nose in his own poop.
• He is always there to listen and NEVER back talks.
• I only have to fill his food bowl once a day which requires no cooking or dirty dishes.
• I can talk to him as often as I like and he always listens without interrupting. He gives me someone (other than myself) to talk to without making me look crazy. Or as crazy, whichever.
• I am greeted every morning with a tail wag and slobbery kiss up my cheek. No temper tantrums, fights over clothing or dirty diapers to change.
• After coming home I am greeted again with more tail wags and slobbery kisses up my cheek and no questions asking "what did you buy me?"
• I only have to give him a bath once a week or as needed when smelly.
• He never has any dirty laundry.
• He doesn't require being wiped after he poops.
• I can leave him home alone and don't have to drag him in and out of every store I need to go to. If I do take him along I won't be frowned upon for leaving him in the vehicle alone as long as there is a window cracked.
• I am also not frowned upon for having him on a leash when he is taken outdoors.
• He goes to sleep by himself without having to be rocked, pampered, tucked in or threatened.
• He wakes up by himself without having to be drug by his feet, repeatedly told to get up, or threatened.
• He is easy pleased with a daily belly rub and a small basket of inexpensive toys or he just chases his own tail.
• He drinks water without crying or fussing that he hates it and instead asking for Kool-aid.
• And lastly, as long as he is in the same picture as me he turns everyones attention to how cute he is and takes emphasis off how awful I look & how plump I'm getting. "Oh what a cute dog" :)