I have wanted to write on this subject ever since I started my blog. I guess the reason I haven't done so until now is because it's such a soapbox issue for me that it could result into a never ending blog post, and very sore fingers. So, I will try to stick to the basics and not get too carried away.
I have regrets, who doesn't? There are plenty of things I would go back and do differently if I could, but life doesn't come with a rewind button. The older I've gotten it's made me realize that things happen the way they should. Your past gets you to the place your meant to be in the future, brings people in and out of your life to help you grow and molds you into the person you were intended to become. Among all of my regrets becoming a young mother isn't one of them.
I didn't plan to become pregnant in high school, get married just weeks after getting my driver's license and becoming a mother 6 days before my 17th birthday. But, that's what happened so I dealt with it and made the best of it. Although I know I disappointed my parents, as I did myself, how I chose to handle it all made them proud. I finished high school a year early by home schooling myself. I did not have a teacher or anyone helping me. I am not a genius and don't claim to be overly smart but I stayed focused and worked hard to accomplish it. All the while living the life as a newlywed, caring for a newborn, working a full time job and paying bills. It wasn't easy but looking back I am thankful for the struggle and all that it taught me. I learned that no matter how hard things become as long as my head is kept on straight I could manage and overcome it.
The reason I am so offended to hear someone tell me "I look too young to have children" is because I honestly do not see what age has to do with it. I was meant to be a mother, regardless of "when" it happened. I am in no way encouraging anyone to start a family as a teen, I'm just saying it was because I became a teen mother that I learned so many important lessons early in life, kept myself out of trouble and became who I am today.
I am now expecting my 4th child. I am still married to the same man I married when I was 16 and love him even more than I did the day I said "I Do." I am exactly where I am meant to be in my life. The number of children I have isn't a mistake, I am their mother because I was meant to be.
As far as individuals thinking I am years younger than I am, well, I guess I should take that as a compliment. I probably will appreciate it the older I am when I want to look younger. I just don't like certain things coming with age limits. When age has nothing to do with it. Your maturity level, strong will and acts of responsibility is what determines 'how old you are' not how many years you have been on this earth.
I do regret eating every single Snicker bar and Hershey's kiss from the Easter eggs but I don't regret my children or the ages I was when I became their mother. I am blessed to be where I am in life.
2 comments:
You and I have so much in common. You were a little younger than me but we experianced the struggles at the ripe ole age of 17 an 18. I too, think it made me who I am today. Often people ask me if I wish I had of waited to have children. It offends me! I think we done alright for ourselfs ;)
You are so very right Ashley. Age has nothing to do with being a Mother, especially a wonderful Mother like you are. You are very inspiriational to so many girls (younger or older) that know you. It also offends me to hear people say their little slurs. I've dealt with plenty on behalf of Charli's biological daughter. But I guess we have to take the good comments with the bad as well. You and your husband are doing amazing for yourselves. =)
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