follow-up from yesterday

I am just beside myself with the events of yesterday. I can't help but feel like I am not doing my job as a Mother. No matter how hard we try to teach our children between good & bad there is always something that is going to slip through the cracks. I keep telling myself it's nothing wrong or right I have done that made my child steal & lie and it's just a lesson she is going to have to learn the hard way. But as a Mother I only want what is best for my children and I want them to grow into respectable people. Not criminals.

Yesterday when my Husband got home from work we sat Catie down at the dining room table and questioned her about why she got into trouble at school. At first she said "I don't know." But when i told her I got a phone call and I knew why she had gotten into trouble she sunk down into her chair. I got out her backpack and went through it I found several small toys and an ink pen. I tried really hard not to make her feel like she was being interrogated but I had to find out where she had gotten this stuff. After several minutes of questions and a few fibs later she admitted she had taken the ink pen off her teachers desk. We once again explained the difference in good & bad behavior and told her she were to return the ink pen to her teacher the next day and apologize. I also told her that everyday when she got off the school bus I was going to check her backpack until I feel she can be trusted again. I think we got our point across that we were giving her a fair warning this time but if there is a next time she won't get off so easy. I was careful not to make her feel like she was a bad person, because she isn't. She just isn't making very good choices. I'm sure we could have handled it differently, but I did all I knew to do.

I have racked my brain at the possible reasons for her to behave this way. Not only are we dealing with the lies and now stealing but she has an attitude that would just make you want to pull your hair out. Rolling eyes, bobbing head, stomping off, slamming doors, throwing things, you get the picture. I keep telling myself that it's a phase she is going through and it will pass but I'm not so sure. I just wish I knew how to properly punish her over her behavior and give her the correct consequences for her actions. I just can't understand how a child that has everything imaginable thinks it's not enough and want more, then turns to stealing it to get it. Then again I wonder if it's because she has so much stuff that it puts it in her mind she gets what she wants, or she can have anything. I also realize I make way too many 'mommy threats' and hardly ever follow through with any of them. Like telling her if she doesn't behave she won't get to stay with her Nanny on the weekend, like she is used to. But no matter how badly she behaves through the week she gets to go anyways.. I feel bad because I know we should have kept her home but I am a tired mother that needs a break so I give in and send her. I now see that this only teaches her that she won't lose any privileges no matter how she acts. I know I have things I need to change in my parenting to make my kids learn important life lessons. No matter how good of a parent you think you are, there is something you will fail at and need to improve. Parenting is a learn as you go adventure not always good but not always bad either. None of us as parents are perfect but we do the best we can. I am praying for guidance to handle this situation with my daughter properly. Thanks for all the kind words and prayers.